You have so many possibilities, each one more delicious than the next.
Where to find smorz cracker#
Graham cracker substitutes for making s’mores range from the sweet to the savory. Smores graham cracker substitutes are nearly endless.
Where to find smorz plus#
As many of you may know, I'm a big neo-revolutionary breakfast cereal mentality supporter, following in the footsteps of such philosophers as Professor Baron Von Mancock and Dr.Make s'mores without graham crackers, get dozens of ideas for substitutes when you run out of graham crackers plus different ways to make s'mores. I feel that our society, as a whole, has embraced antiquated and outdated ideas of what breakfast "should be" for far too long now. Let's face it we're living in a fast-paced, exciting, nonstop new world which includes high-tech things like the Internet, electric scooters, and battered women. Shouldn't our breakfast cereal mature and advance with our culture as well? Why should we be standing by and encouraging the old ideals of breakfast cereals which date back to the 1940s when we can instead advance forward in maturity, seamlessly progressing with technology? Let's put all those scientific microchips and floppy disks to use by creating wonderful new high-tech cereals which appeal to this generation of kids and old people who have the brain-damaged minds of kids. We need a cereal which doesn't only provide a fulfilling breakfast experience, but also takes the place of at least six other major meals throughout the day. Since I was unable to find any cereals which had both toasted oats and delightful chipped beef, I discovered the next best thing: three cereals which not only serve as a pseudo-complete breakfast, but could also take the place of each and every dessert required within a two-week radius. Quaker Oats' Cap'n Crunch's OOPS! Choco Donuts In this exciting episode of "A Completely Awful Breakfast," I will compare and contrast three winners of the "cereals which prove that chocolate should probably not be the crux of a well-balanced breakfast" award: Quaker Oats' Cap'n Crunch's OOPS! Choco Donuts, Kellogg's SMORZ, and Kellogg's Disney Chocolate Mud & Bugs. I think it's painfully obvious the dear Cap'n has an addiction to uppers.Īn Overview: The ol' Cap'n has been very busy in the last decade or so, pumping out hundreds of variations on his award-winning cereal which is not only shaped like a barrel, but tastes like one as well.
The local grocery store was selling the following brands of Cap'n Crunch breakfast cereals:Ĭap'n Crunch's Morning Suppository Crunch BuffetĬap'n Crunch's Cap'n Morgan's LiquorberriesĬap'n Crunch's Five-Dollar Hooker Surprise His bouquet of bountiful flavors ranks somewhere in the millions now, and if grocery stores were to attempt to carry every permutation of the Cap'n Crunch brand, they'd probably go broke before the manager had a chance to call them fucking dumbasses for attempting to corner the market on shitty cereals.
Where to find smorz series#
In addition to these fun and festive flavors, Quaker Oats is producing a limited-run series of "Cap'n Crunch's OOPS! Choco Donuts," which have cleverly substituted an image of a donut where the letter "O" in "DONUT" should be. However, the o-donut replacement works flawlessly, as can be seen in this dramatic reenactment of what happened in my brain when I was visiting the store: That's one of those ingenious marketing strategies that we human beings couldn't even begin to possibly comprehend even if we used 100% of our total brainpower. RIGHT SIDE OF MY BRAIN: "No! No dumping! Choco Donuts! Choco Donuts!" LEFT SIDE OF MY BRAIN: "While that small chocolate donut drawing replacing the 'O' is indeed nice, I think we should instead take a big steaming dump right here in the middle of the store! It's the logical thing to do." RIGHT SIDE OF MY BRAIN: "Woooah there, looky at that! Choco Donuts! The 'O' is a graphical representation of the aforementioned chocolate donut! This appeals to me on many unique levels! Buy that! Buy that! Buy that!" ME: "Hmmm, I need to buy a chocolate cereal, but I don't know which one to purchase. LEFT SIDE OF MY BRAIN: "Shut up you! We're going to pull down our pants and just shit all over the place now. This is going to be great, you just watch.
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